Hey dudes, thanks for reaching out to us again. Super stoked to do another track by track. So I guess to start off I should talk about my process for writing the lyrics to the record, so you can have some info. Everyday I locked myself in my room at the studio, I had the windows blacked out, with only a soft lamp on. I'd start my day off with reading Psalms 88, then looked at 'The Falling Man' picture, after that I'd read people's suicide notes. I wanted to put myself in a place where my thoughts were completely submerged in the pains of life. I wanted to make sure the lyrics would connect on a real level. I'd write out a song and if it didn't make me cry, I'd tear it up and start over. Two weeks of that was the process of the lyrics and melodies of 'Dead in the Shadow'.
Well it's the first song on the record and is also the first song we released. We finished this one and knew we were going to release it first. The lyrics are actually connected to an older song we have called Je Suis Fini.
I Had To Let Go
This one is super personal to me, well I actually try to make every song super personal. But this one is about her getting sober, and kind of an outside view of her journey. She's actually over 1,000 days now. The line "You could build yourself up, we would all help with the stones." is one of my favorite lines I've ever written.
This song feels like you're being beat to death with a freaking pipe. As soon as I heard the music to this song, I knew it was going to be insane. The vocal patterns on this song are super fun. The lyrics are intense and about revenge, but trying to reconcile and learn to forgive. I feel like this is the one that will get us in trouble with parents haha.
Enemies To Everyone
Ah dude! Yes! I freaking love this song. Seriously the best chorus I've ever written thus far in my career. Andrew knocked this one out of the park. He and I were talking about wanting a big anthem-like chorus on the record. I think we nailed it. Plus the name of the song is taken from one of my favorite movies 'Hell or High Water'. And I feel like it just fits the lyrics perfectly.
Gosh. Yeah. So this one was hard to write. I wrote this one about knowing you're going to die. Every second we get closer and closer to death. So really trying to make your life worthwhile. There's a Deftones-esque singing part on this song, and I freaking love it!
Hands down, favorite song on the record! This song destroys everything. I'm so pumped on it. This song is about my journey going to a therapist. It totally changed my life and really helped me write the lyrics for this record. This one is for Al Andrews.
Love this song. I truly enjoyed recording this song. I was thinking of Radiohead, and Sturgill Simpson while singing to this. The guys knocked this one out of the park musically. I think Andrew said there's like 4 or 5 guitar parts going on. I could be totally off, but I'm too lazy to text him and ask. Let's just say 4, in other words, we'll probably never play this song live. But it'd be cool if we did hahaha.
Ashes Over My Eyes
Most insane vocal patterns I've ever written. This was a headache to record. I think I saved this one for last cause l was having to much trouble with it. But one of my favorite lines on the record is in this song. It says, "Spread your ashes over my eyes, I want to see the dead." And I will leave it to the listener to listen and decide what the song means to them.
Ugh freakin rip your heart out. This was the hardest song emotionally to record. It's about me being molested when I was a child. I wanted to write a song for victims of sexual assault, so they know they're not alone. It's a weight no one should carry on their own. I truly love this song. I remember our producer looking at me when we finished tracking vocals and said, "Wow... this song is really messed up, and very real." It was at that moment I knew I had written the song exactly how it should have been written. I want this song to evoke a real response from people. I want it to give people hope.
I Am The Shovel/ I Am The Grave
We knew we wanted to do an acoustic song when we first started writing this one. I told Andrew I wanted something dark and sad. He nailed it. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I was Kurt Cobain hahahaha